Dirtbags love wheelin' and dealin'. And we know most of youse out there have either bought from or ran your own "business" within the multi-level-marketing realm.
No, an MLM is not a quick way to describe a new weight-loss drug, but what some may call a "pyramid scheme".
A MLM is a company doesn't sell things online or via a brick-and-mortar store, but through a group of "direct sales representatives" that the company makes buy the products first and then sell it to individuals. Youse also make money from recruiting other sellers, and well, climbing the pyramid.
They're not illegal, potentially morally grey, but we think they're pure garbage. Here's
Anyone ever knock on your door and try to sell ya knives? Dirtbags were selling knives left and right by knocking on doors in the 1990s.
Did anyone buy em? Aunt Tuddy certainly did.
Were they good knives? Indeed - you don't build a pyramid without some steel.
But from a seller's perspective - how many knife sets does one family buy in their lifetimes?
We promise this is the way to cut corners to lose weight. Or something.
These could be "supplements", pills, meal replacement drinks - things that aren't legit enough to be sold at a GNC but certainly sell in the Gym locker room.
They claim by selling with them they "offer more than just an opportunity to earn some extra income – [we] provide a versatile platform that empowers you to build your own wellness business."
If it works, great. But we prefer eating our calories or drinking them with alcohol.
This is one of the "more legitimate" MLMs categories but an MLM just the same.
The ladies that sell these cosmetics often come to your house for a party, lather ya up with lotions, and leave ya with 30% off coupon and a bunch of dirty dishes.
But the products work! That's how they've been around for decades.
What they may not tell you, is that the "sales reps" typically pay 50% or more for the products - plus expenses - so they're REALLY encouraged to build that pyramid.
They do so with company meetings, cheers, songs, unique merch, awards, parties, everything and anything that manipulates you into climbing that ladder.
Do you know another way to get a Pink Cadillac?
While these may be good for the environment, they're much better for the Dirtbag salesperson hoping to pay down his credit card debt.
These products certainly work, but they're a very large cost, and sales for reps are often few and far between. However, it's still one of the fast-growing, top-grossing MLM categories in the USA.
So roll the dice with this one - we hope it's for the right reasons.
For whatever reason, essential oils sell like hotcakes to middle America.
Maybe it's an off-shoot of the cosmetics industry, or maybe its the "health benefits" that are provided by using the products.
While we're firm believers of holistic living, we're uncertain why these are so popular within religious communities - especially the Mormons.
Take a sniff - you're trash.
Isn't the whole point of a cruise that it's like $300 for a 3-day, all-inclusive vacation? So why do they need outside sales folk to pedal tickets for 'em?
We're not sure why people are so quick to sell cruises.
Maybe they're in love with life on the water... Maybe a retirement home is too expensive, so they take up permanent residence on a boat. Maybe they're a degenerate gambler and this feels more romantic than living in Las Vegas.
Unless you have stock in a Cruise Line, we recommend another MLM scheme.
This one ain't as common as it used to be, but what a sales pitch vacuum cleaner dudes make.
It's like a live-action commercial in your home. They bring in the vacuum, they spill some dirt on your carpet, and they try to clean it all up. Look at all the dirt it picked up!
Yeah, but have they seen how much dust your slippers pick up?
These purchases often come with hefty price tags - but the products typically last for years. Just be weary of financing - if you can't afford heaters today, you can't afford a $3000 vacuum in 2 months.
While we're not gonna drop the name of em, these companies sell everything from supplements to cleaning supplies to home decor and more.
They're missions are typically rooted in "American Values" and "better for you" solutions.
At least this option allows you to diversify your furniture. Or get a discount dupe-cologne for cheap. And it's still one of the top MLM categories in the US!
Let us know your stories in the comments!
Love Youse - AYG
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