Did you know, the washing machine is for more than just mom’s “quiet hour”?
If you caught our most recent episode - Ari Matti Returns - we were reminded once again just how dirtbag some Bozos can be. Youse will go to all sorts of lengths to avoid doing laundry, and we really respect it.
Today, we wanted to share
The Dirtbags' Lifecycle of Laundry
The Chair
The Chair is recognized nationwide as the first stop on the laundry procrastination journey.
It is typically an accent chair within your bedroom / closet combo, that no one ever sits in. (Because, ya know, there's always clothes on it.)
This is a place for clothing you've on worn for a few hours. Maybe it’s an outer layer like a flannel or a pair of shorts you only wore to the store one time.
The Chair is likely where your not-dirty-but-not-clean pajamas live - if you even own pajamas.
The procrastination station - many of your clothing items may return here 3 or 4 times over a period of weeks, before it officially makes it to the next stage of laundry.
You BARELY even sweat in clothes that end up on The Chair. In fact, it would be LUDICROUS to wash it at this stage.
But, once they start to lean towards a wash - that clothing moves to The Floor.
The Floor
The Floor is for items that are definitely not clean - you've worn them, sweat in 'em, maybe even spilled a thing or two on these garments - but they're still not DIRTY.
It would be wasteful to wash it now... but they're still too smelly for the chair.
You wore those shorts to the gym once, so they're on the floor. And you know where you’re going to wear those shorts the next time? To the gym! (Our money’s on you bein' a power lifter.)
Maybe the clothes on the floor will be worn again when you need to do yard work - or work on the car. Or something.
No one will notice you're wearing Floor Clothes. As long as they don’t get too close.
Honorable Mention - The Hook
Not all homes are fortunate enough to have The Hook. This is typically a behind-the-door locale or a sometimes on the inside of a closet wall. This is a great place for hoodies that you wear often or a robe that keeps you cozy in the winter.
Items on the hook are varying levels of soiled, from your dirts to dust and even bugs. So - be careful.
If you have The Hook - consider yourself blessed.
The Laundry Basket
The laundry basket has two positions - top of the pile and bottom.
The Top is for clothing that you should wash, or move to the bottom of the pile, but you need to buy new laundry detergent, so you're keeping items to the top "just in case you need it". Sure.
But these items are dirty and should only be worn in wardrobe emergencies.
The Bottom is forever unclean - reserved for dirty undies, wife beaters that smell like heaters, and smelly socks. Only under the most desperate of circumstances can an item be revived from the bottom of the pile... Even then it must be doused in body spray like you did in middle school and/or thrown in the dryer with a dryer sheet for a few minutes.
It's time you take those guys to the washer - once they're in good company. You can't be doing loads of loads in this economy. But not to worry...
It all comes out in the wash.
Or that's what they say.
Do you have another piece of the laundry cycle we missed? Let us know in the comments!
Love youse - AYG
