Here at GARBAGE we're big fans of the American dream - starting with nothing and climbing to success as a rich and/or celebrity Dirtbag.
In our most recent Family Episode we talked about the fact that it costs $85,000+ to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! How does a Dirtbag afford that?
Well, usually someone else pays for it - but you still have to WIN the award by being a part of one of these categories.
Motion Pictures, Television, Radio, Recording, Live Theatre/Live Performance, or Sports Entertainment
We thought we’d recognize some of the top Dirtbags who’ve been given the honor. Here’s
The King of the Dirtbags - although the classiest version of Dirtbag that has ever existed.
He's famous for - well, showing off other women's assets. Not that we're opposed to Playboy or most of what it represents, but the man orchestrating that mansion madness is definitely a Dirtbag.
And apparently they give you awards for making other people famous. (Guess which category his star is in...)
So we'll leave this here - although we wish he rests in peace.
The Mindfreak!!! The modern King of Las Vegas, and a walking Ed Hardy ad, this bad boy magician really took over the scene in the aughts...
Never heard of him? You obviously weren’t a divorced mom with a neck tattoo that lived in Arizona. (He is popular with the ladies!)
Criss Angel is an extreme magician, that became famous for his ambitious, large-scale tricks. He can freakin' LEVITATE!!! (Like, float in the air!!!)
He still has a residency on the Las Vegas strip, and has for years, but he also had a TV reality & magic show titled MINDFREAK that is definitely worth another watch, even today.
He’s also a repeat philanthropist, especially for pediatric cancer. We think this Dirtbag’s star is well-deserved.
Youse maybe know him as "Fatty Arbuckle" - and we love a Big Guy around here.
He was a silent film actor, and amongst the first to receive a Star on the Walk of Fame. He was a singer, comedian, director, screenwriter, and even credited for mentoring celebs like Bob Hope and Buster Keaton.
According to Wikipedia, "He weighed in excess of 13 pounds (5.9 kg) at birth and his father believed that he was illegitimate, as both parents had slim builds. Consequently, he named him after Senator Roscoe Conkling of New York, a notorious philanderer whom he despised."
So is that why is he garbage? Partially - but while you can get a star after you die - Waylon Jennings is getting one in 2027 - they won't take back your star after it's been awarded.
And from 1921 - 1922 he went to trial three separate times for rape and manslaughter of a young actress - Virginia Rapp. He was eventually acquitted, but he was forever Blacklisted from Film and lived a very meager few final years.
Joan Crawford was most certainly an "It-Girl" of her time - starting as a dancer including Broadway, then the star of many films, including the feminist noir, Mildred Pierce.
What's this classy broad doing on our Trashy list?
Well - she changed her name, like all actresses did back then. And she was married 4 times, all of which are kinda trashy...
Also - she adopted 5 children, and it was later revealed by one of her daughters that she was abusive to all her children - and her staff. And she was an alcoholic. So much so that her daughter's account was published as a memoir and then later adapted to a film starring Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford. Many debate this as fiction, but either way, we call it trashy.
Randy Quad - Cousin Eddy - YouTube ranter...
He is recognized as the model Dirtbag due to his role in many of the "Family Vacation" movies, but also ofc Kingpin, among much else.
Also his personal life has been WILD the past couple decades - he and his wife were arrested for fraud, squatting in a guest house they used to own and claim "was legally still theirs", and ofc his bizarre and icky rants on YouTube.
Hey - sometimes it's hard to get outta the dirt. Or be a character actor.
We love the WWE - and this guy is credited with making it Rock’n’Roll.
His star was awarded for his contributions to Television - not the sport of wrestling - but he did really elevate the sport to a global, prime time phenomenon.
His "character" was always in control and often shouted "You're fired!" - which seems to be a trend?
Do youse remember when Roseanne was considered "liberal"? She was at the forefront of female comedians when she began doing unflattering, raw, but hilarious stand-up in 1980 - and she was a vocal advocate for gay rights.
But, Ambien rants DO come back to haunt you eventually, and yes, they can kick you off a show NAMED AFTER YOU if they want to.
That aside, no other celebrity is more renowned for representing the Dirtbag American family than Roseanne. Her wardrobe on that show alone could cement her as the Dirtbag Queen - not to mention the set design and art department were UNHINGED in the most white trash ways.
And a loose meat diner? A motorcycle shop? It's like the writers were picking Dirtbag buzz words outta a Crown Royal bag. (And the show bolstered the careers of MANY famous writers such as Amy Sherman-Palladino - creator of Gilmore Girls, Chuck Lorre - creator of The Big Bang Theory, and the effable Norm MacDonald.)
Roseanne is still generally active as a comedian - and like most canceled people, she lives in Texas.
Should we have an honorable mention list? Let us know!
As always, love youse - AYG
This 15 oz ceramic coffee mug is Tuddy's favorite vacation souvenir!
It features a C-handle, making it easier to light her morning burnie while sippin' her instant java. She recommends hand-washing.
