Army of Garbage - nowadays you see a Tesla and anyone from Matteo Lane to Ron Jeremy could walk out and you wouldn't be surprised.
Most of youse grew up in the '90s and 2000s like the boys, and HACHEE MACHEE, if a Dirtbag's car back then didn't define everything about their personality...
We decided to dive into the most common cars we saw in them days and everything about the Dirtbags that drive 'em. Here's
Carly Acquilino returned to this show this week after years and told a story of a guy that hit on her who was driving a Jeep Liberty - and then that it was likely his girlfriend's car.
That's because it's a women's car.
But the Jeep Cherokee? Especially the ~2002 model was always driven by a cool guy that likely smoked weed in the woods. He always had mints and eyedrops in the center console and he likely worked 2 or 3 jobs (in his 20s).
A quality Dirtbag, it was sad when the driver hit a deer on the road and had to be totaled.
We've talked extensively about the Lumina... A young Kippy, shuttling back and forth between the Philly suburbs and the Wildwood boardwalk.
This Dirtbag is well - you guessed it - kinda like a regular guy, just trying to get by, and he definitely smoke Burnies inside the car.
The A/C need recharged, so the window are always down, anyways!
(Only a few remaining Kippy Racing Tees left - grab em before they sell out!)
This car really started its own trend of bringing together uncool misfits... and each operating Cruiser is likely still owned by the person who bought it new.
(Bonus points if it had the wood paneling or flames on the side.)
This is driven by either:
A. lady aged 55+ with a perm in her hair and a waddle to her walk that has a pension from Rite Aid - so Aunt Tuddy -
OR
B. an elder Millennial softboi with bi-wife energy.
Either way, they're gonna complain when their Cobb Salad comes outta the kitchen without enough cheese.
But don't be too hard on 'em - they can drive a stick so you may need them when the apocalypse comes.
The Dirtbags that drive one of these two trucks are VERY principled that their vehicle is vastly superior to the counterpart.
But that's like saying there's a difference between a Zyn or chewing tobacco - yeah maybe, but either way you're getting cancer of the mouth.
(And yes, the drivers did have 2 - 3 bottles of tobacco spit floating around on the floor of the vehicle at all times.)
There good salt of the Earth Dirtbags. A man's man.
But they always also had southern accents despite living in Lancaster, PA their whole lives ?
Again, nice to have around when you need to haul things.
Also, often driven by dads who work in construction.
This car originally started with grandparents lookin' for a reliable vehicle - then about 4/5 years later, it it got passed down to their granddaughter - a smokin' hot but underemployed girl-next-door.
The interior upholstery was always falling down and it definitely had A LOT of dents and scratches on the outside. (Because the drivers couldn't see over the steering wheel.)
Geez, those things were everywhere in the 2000s and they seldom drove over 45 MPH... I'm not certain they could.
We briefly touched on this with Carly - the Spyder was definitely driven by a hot chick that worked in night life. Stripper / Dancer / Waitress / Bartender etc.
The Spyder was the Eclipse model with the sunroof - boy oh boy would we like to take a ride.
But the standard, non-convertible Eclipses were definitely driven by guys that did a lot of drugs with their parents' money. Or Drug Dealers. Or both.
But they always felt dangerous in this car that was too close to the ground and was really bad on gas mileage.
And they certainly wrecked it when they were messed up and blamed it on ice.
Michael Scott's car of choice, this is driven by either
A. Totally unselfaware nice guys
or
B. The single mom that tanned too much and never settled down again after her divorce.
Either way, you can smoke inside, but please don't spill your slushee again, the first stain never came out.
Should we do a Part 2? Let us know!
And as always, love youse. - AYG
Tuddy's started her own auto racing scheme - and she's signed Kippy to the team!
Boasting Kevin James Ryan's printed signature and his classic, luminous race car, this tee is 100% heavyweight cotton in black, and has a front and back graphic. Item is preshrunken.
The Geo Tracker, baby! Everything about the entire Geo brand is absolute trash. Seriously. Give it a Goog.
Dodge Neon babyyyy! That was my first car back in ‘02 when I got my license.
The Honda vs Acura debate…yes, I know that the latter is the higher end model of the former, but that is where the debate starts. Honda owners back in the day were hard working men, looking to get a car that is reliable, sleek, and way more than they could ever imagine to own. The Acura, on the other hand, was driven by the hard working young man’s manager. Now, the conversation could go on when we discuss the different models offered by both brands (Accord vs Legend, Pilot vs ADX, etc). Now to think of it, the same could be said about Toyota vs Lexus, Nissan vs Infinity…What do you think?