Hey there, Dirtbags!

We had our new buddy Prof in at Tuddy's house this past week - which if you haven't yet, check out his new album, Good Time Boy.

Since we don't often have Midwest Dirtbags in the studio, we wanted to call out some of their best trashy attributes... In no particular order, here's 

10 Midwest Dirtbag Traits & Habits 

10. The Demolition Derby 

If youse don't know what a demo derby is - do yourself a favor this County Fair season, and get a front row ticket.  (County Fairs - another tradition no one does like the Midwest!) 

Basically - a bunch of beat-up cars SMASH into each other - usually on a dirt track - and the last man standing gets a prize.  The levels of excitement are on par with a Playoff Eagles game.  And it's extra fun if you get some of that dirt on ya - like the splash zone at Sea World. 

While the Demo Derby was actually "invented" in Gardena, CA - but Gardena is one of the most Midwest cities in California.  

9. The Hot Dish

The hot dish in the Midwest is what most of us would consider a "casserole" - or a mom living in poverty that gets real creative in the kitchen. (Shout out to her.) 

It's usually PROTEIN + CARB + CHEESE + some kinda "SLURRY" material to hold it all together.

Usually chicken + rice + cheddar + cream of mushroom soup. 

Sometimes it's ground beef + scalloped potatoes + green beans (usually from a can) + cream cheese... 

Or you can get fancy for breakfast with sausage + hash browns + diced tomatoes + Velveeta cheese + eggs... 

Honestly - always satisfying regardless of how trashy it is. And bonus points if it's served in a Corningware Dish. 

8. Salads without Lettuce

"I'm bringing the macaroni salad and even some ambrosia since I don't know who all is coming to Tuddy's on Sunday..." 

I'm not sure what officially defines something as a "salad" but in the Midwest it does not include lettuce.  Think of it more like a mayonnaise based ratatouille - and usually eggs or mustard are in the mix.  

Actually - just "a few items mixed together" seems to be what defines this as a salad.  It's a hearty side dish - and even if it's not healthy, it's definitely delicious. 

Mayonnaise is also included 99% of the time. 

7. Pop

We've talked about this before - but a Midwest Dirtbag loves to call soda a "pop". 

Not sure where this comes from - soda pop? Sure - but what distinguishes that from a seltzer water or a poppi? Couldn't tell ya. 

6. Making Business Names Possessive and/or Plural 

"I'm running down to the Meijer's to grab some mayo for the hot dish tonight..."

Just kidding - no one in the Midwest ever runs out of mayonnaise.  

We are dead serious about the use of the letter "s" in just about every business that even resembles a last name.  Places like "Albertsons" have that "s" in em.  But Meijer or Wal-mart or Aldi do not have "s" at the end. 

5. Honking When You Drive by Someone's House You Know

Have you ever heard errant honks outside of a country home?  That's Uncle Randy sayin' hi when he passes Grandma's house. 

In the city, you'd never even notice this because there's always some kinda siren going off - but I guess since most Midwesterners live out of town, they assume you'll know it was them when you honk.  

Then the next time you see Grandma it's "did you hear me honk on Monday...?"

And yes, yes she did. 

4. The "Long" Goodbye

Whenever anyone from the Midwest says goodbye - especially on the landline phone - they can never simply say "Goodbye". 

It's either either "Mmmm-bye" or even "bub-eye".  (Often - welp, see ya later.)

Not to mention it may take them a solid 25 minutes after they say they're gonna go that they actually say goodbye.  A good convo has a standard 5 bub-byes - or more. 

3. Holding Out to Turn on the Heater 

A Midwest Dirtbag hates to think that the heater could get the best of them...

Therefore, when the seasons change, it seems to be a test of the wills to wait to turn on the heater. 

Midwest Dads will NOT waste the money - and if you're cold, go put on a sweater or your house coat.  (A "house coat" is a robe in the Midwest - because yes, it is common to wear your coat inside.) 

You're lucky if you get it turned on before December. 

2. Adding Extra Letters in the Pronunciation of Words

The Midwest Accent is perhaps one of the hardest accents for the outsider to identify. 

The Southern accent has a drawl, the Bostonian accent is iconic, but the Midwest accent is more a collection of odd additions that don't track from the etymology of the language, and about the cadence.   

Often it's adding the letter "L" in the word "saw"...  "I sawl that down at the High School..."

Adding a "T" sound to words like "across"... "You know, Dr. Johnson's office is acrossT from the Supercuts..."

Sometimes it's always phonetically pronouncing the "R" in words.  Midwesterns would NEVER "pahk the cah in Hah-vad Yad."  There is an R in the world, and they'll let you know. 

1. Telling You Where They Bought It & How Much it Costs

Joseph - did you get new tires...?

Yeah - the O'Reilly was having a sale so I got em 60% off, if you can believe it. 

And more commonly - the Midwest Mom.

Check out the new table runner I got at the TJ Maxx - it was on clearance for only $6.99 because they're already settin' up for Halloween!

What is your favorite Midwest habit ? 

Fresh corn on the cobb? Let us know in the comments below! 

And get your Tuddy Coffee Mugs - only a few left!