How to Go to the Bar with No Money

Not having a lot of cash is no excuse to stay home and be a loser. 

You gotta get out there and make things happen. Chances are your friends know you’re broke, but there are few tricks to stretch your last few bucks and navigate the night so you don’t come off as a complete freeloader. 

Pregame

This is huge. Whether you do it by yourself or with a group of friends, you need to get the juices flowing and try to reduce the amount of drinks you have to buy at the bar.

An easy dirtbag tip is to have people come to your place and say “grab a case and come over!” - this way you don't have to pay for the beers and chances are the leftover beers will be left at your house when you go to the bar. 

Get the Uber

Getting to the bar - this is an overlooked opportunity to build some beer credit with the group.

If you’re taking an Uber you can volunteer to order the car. “I’ll get the Uber, just buy me a beer when we get there.” There may be 3 other people in the car - that's 3 free beers when you get to the bar!

Chances are the Uber is on a credit card and you can deal with that next month. 

The First Round

Another strong move is buying the first round of beers for everyone in the group when you get there.

This is a large upfront investment - but in my experience, it pays off. Say you buy beers for the 5 people in the group. Now those 5 people all owe you a beer.

So throughout the night when you see them ordering a drink - slide in and go “hey can you grab me a drink?” - they have to say yes cuz they’re indebted to you, you’re not just some broke dirtbag asking for a beer. The key to this is as the night goes on your friends get drunk and lose track of whose turn it is to buy a round - jokes on them, it’s always their turn to buy the round.

Bonus points to convince someone to buy a round of shots when ordering beers. Double whammy. 

Rich Friend with an Open Tab

Track your rich friend's beer consumption and get on the same pace.

You guys finish a beer at the same time and you say to them “I’m gonna grab a beer do you need one” - a lot of times they say “Yea grab me one, I got an open tab just throw it on there.” - Don’t mind if I do.

At really low points in my life, I’ve even snuck beers onto a friend's tab. This is a shameless move that I’m not proud of. Shout out Phil X, I’m sorry. 

Beer Math

Find the cheapest most bang for your buck deal. If it's a pitcher of beer, don’t feel shamed into ordering a pitcher with one glass and going to town. If it's a bucket of beers, get the bucket but be aware people will try and poach from you. 

Flask

Flask - this is self explanatory.

Rip some shots when no one is looking to keep a level playing field. 

If these tips don't work or your friends don't want to drink with you anymore since you’re always bumming beers - maybe it's time to find better friends. Friends who will help a guy out who's in a jam.

Stay safe out there. 

- AYG