We’ve all been there. You’re cruising along and all the sudden you see those red and blue lights in your rearview mirror. You think to yourself, Surely that’s not me, I’m only doing 15 over.
But it is you – that taillight didn’t fix itself. Now you’re reaching for that license and registration (hopefully that’s up to date) and thinking of any and all excuses.
These are the 5 most Garbage ways to get out of a ticket.**
Officer, I’ve been jammed up for weeks trying to get this thing fixed. It’s stuck at 35....
...The mechanic is trying to bang me out for a grand but my buddy from culinary school works on cars... I’m just waiting for him to get home from visiting his kids.
...I swear I’ll get this taken care of right away.
When using this tactic, it’s best if your check engine and coolant lights are on. That will really drive home the fact that this car is a piece of junk you very well may have no control of the speed.
Know someone that’s pregnant? This would be a good time to remember their name. Try, “I’m about to be a dad and I have to get to the hospital.”
For our female readers the pregnancy play may not work, so go blame your stupid boyfriend/husband. “Dan got his foot stuck in the lawnmower again.”
Be prepared for the officer to escort you to wherever you were headed, and when you get to Buffalo Wild Wings you can think of a new alibi there.
Need I explain? Who’s going to question someone with diarrhea?
WARNING: be prepared to go all the way with this…
It’s time for some Daniel Day Lewis method acting here.
Think about your old dog Spot that went to live “on a farm” and get the water works going. This works best if your words are unintelligible.
Pro Tip: A little snot goes a long way!
Before we get to our last, and arguably most garbage way, to try and dodge a ticket, let’s look at a few honorable mentions that just missed the cut. Alexa, play Simply the Best!
Flirting
Trying to be funny
Pretending you’re on a secret mission
Overly apologetic
Blame it on “The System” or “The Man”
Running late for work
Number 5, and arguably the most garbage way to try and get out of a ticket, is the Name Drop. Let em know you know who you are.
No one cares that your Uncle used to play darts with the Mayor. But, if at any point you say the words, “Do you know who I am,” you can go ahead and arrest yourself.
Good luck, homies. - AYG
**Our legal team at the Dempsey Group DOES NOT recommend the practical use of these tactics.
Tuddy's started her own auto racing scheme - and she's signed Kippy to the team!
Boasting Kevin James Ryan's printed signature and his classic, luminous race car, this tee is 100% heavyweight cotton in black, and has a front and back graphic. Item is preshrunken.
Stop trying to get new generation and appeal to the nostalgia one that you already have. I know you won’t explain toby, or the missing introon public’s or address the paintball but come on guys! Some kind of chciken samwitch style again. Too many family members ? Too big? Or just all damage control. The old videos keep my here but it won’t last and Im not the minority in this mindset. What is going on bozos!
The boys putting the staff to good use. Gotta pay Mark The Shark for something I guess! Love youse bozos!
Straight up AI slop. Seriously, this is so lame.
One that’s always worked for me was to invest in a license plate holder or bumper sticker from the fraternal order of police website. Let em know when they’re following you that you’re “one of the good ones” and not “frantically trying to hide an eighth in a half full Wawa cup”
So now you guys bought a getty stock image account? trrrash but I respect it. That’s a write off Jerry!
is this foley’s new hobby?