Get some hot dogs, get some brews, and get ready for some fireworks, gang - it's finally America's 250th Birthday!
Are there trashy ways to view fireworks? MAYBE - but we also think it's your American right to watch that colored gunpowder in the sky and feel that BOOM! in your chest.
Since this is such a BREATHTAKING show, we've decided that the below party fouls are annoying, maybe trashy, but permitted during the 4th of July fireworks.
Have you ever taken a photo of fireworks? Have you then ever LOOKED at that picture of the fireworks?
It's like taking a photo during a celebrity sighting at a Target - you can never really tell WHAT it is and it's always too far away.
And same with video - sure, the movement HELPS you see what's going on, but why aren't you just WATCHING them live?
When are you gonna rewatch that video? Who are you showing that video to? Who is gonna like that Facebook post (besides Aunt Tuddy)?
But - if you do NEED to take the photos, we understand.
Hans-y loves to be part of the party - but he also doesn't, let him sleep!
You get one year where you can bring your dogs to the fireworks show, to see if they can HANDLE it. Did they love it? Great - bring those lil fluff balls again next year.
In our experience, most dogs just shiver and shake like they're listening to Elvis (but less sexy?) so let 'em stay home. Or don't, but you'd BETTER cuddle them close so they don't get scared.
After a full day of grilling and swimming and shenanigans, kids still seem have to unlimited amounts of energy to shout at the fireworks.
We get it! They're loud and everyone is looking up at the sky, so they're hoping the holiday magic will mask how much the adults care.
But we think just let 'em let it out! It is INCREDIBLY AWESOME and they're making core memories. Let 'em live (and then shout yourself and BLAME it on them).
Something about those lights in the sky makes ya really let out an audible "Wowow".
Just like the kids, it's okay to let your inner child out.
Plus have youse seen the 2026 technology of fireworks?! They got smiley faces now! Peace signs! Puppies!
We think that deserves a WOWOW!
We all want the best view, but if you're UNDER the fireworks, you gotta be on alert.
Things easily catch on fire, and your hair is no exception.
Just - back it up a little bit. For safety. Or don't, if that's what you need to feel alive, so be it.
After that show is over, we love to throw out a chorus of HONKS from our boats... Because the fireworks shows are over water where you live, too, right?
It could also be a car horn - we've seen many shows over a field.
A bicycle horn, an air horn, a French Horn, even - but let it out loud, and let it out proud. America is free, baby!
Credit where credit is due, a finale that grand didn't orchestrate itself!
Listen - you've been a loyal family servant ALL DAY but you're no fool...
You're gonna be at home on your couch with a Yuengling before that grand finale is over.
You know they always save the cheap fireworks for the end anyways. You've watched 25 minutes already, are you gonna wait another 45 minutes in all the traffic getting AWAY from the show? I don't think so...
Geezus Criss, you're leaving 10 minutes early and you're not gonna accept ANY crying!
Better than beating the traffic - is missing it altogether and settin' em off in your backyard instead.
Who knows more about pyrotechnics than your boy Joe?
Drive down to South Carolina a week before, load up, and put on a show for the whole neighborhood!
If you tried to do this in September - you'd be the trashy fire guy at the end of the cul de sac. Do it on the 4th of July and suddenly you're patriotic and that couch on your lawn is "super cozy".
*Don't forget Smokey the Bear's rules about forest fires...
Everybody knows the 4th of July is celebrating all things American and that includes getting messed up.
Eat and drink and smoke or whatever other (legal) substances are out there, because this is America! (And watermelon is basically hydrating while eating.)
As far as we're concerned, gettin' so blasted you don't remember the fireworks the next day, means you lived a successful 4th of July.
And if you haven't grabbed 'em yet, check out the AYG Flag Tee below or the NOT RUBBISH tees - only a few sized left!
Happy 4th, Love youse - AYG
Let the Bozos know youse are CELEBRATING all things U-S-A and A-Y-G.
This is a white, 100% heavyweight cotton tee, printed on Comfort Colors' super soft fabrics... This shirt features the letters A-Y-G in blue, with a small American flag, and "Est. 2020" to commemorate AYG's founding year.
