Welcome to the Garbage Blog, Dirtbags! We decided to prep yall for the inevitable Halloween parties in the next few weeks...
And since last year you were a ghost and everyone dragged you for your dirty sheets, and/or called you racist, we wanted to stress what makes the perfect Halloween costume.
The perfect Halloween costume hits 4 important quadrants:
- Scary
- Funny
- Popculture Reference
- Sexy (men included)
And in true Dirtbag fashion, Tuddy is still deciding on her costume, so we've pulled a bunch of OPTIONS.
Grab $10 and get ready to head to the thrift... Here's
20+ Easy, Dirtbag Halloween Costumes
20. Gingerbread Man
This one is reserved for the unfortunately blessed Irishman in your rolodex.
Get the day-old loafs from the grocery store and tie em around your neck.
Or get fresh loafs and have a built-in sack for the evening.
19. JoAnn Fabrics - RIP
This costume idea is brilliant - and we're guessing came to this person as they were standing in a Spirit Halloween store that used to be a JoAnn Fabrics...
It's an apron, knitting needles, and fake blood if you're feeling it.
Extra points for extra creative deaths... And s/o to the queen who thought of this one!
18, 17, 16. Ghostface x A Virgin x Blue Balls
Have you had your annual re-watch of SCREAM yet? Never forget how CLASSIC this film is...
You could be A. Ghostface - just grab that mask at the store and you're basically done.
It's easy, breezy, and you can avoid most conversations throughout the night by just staring at people.
But if you wanna step it up a bit, go as B. a Virgin.
For men, just be super nerdy - tuck your shirt into your pants, maybe carry something cherry-themed.
Ladies, you can easily jujsh this one up with some innocent-looking clothing.
Hey, make it a couples costume by having your man carry around some C. blue balls!
15. Joe Dirt
We know - this isn't really a costume so much as a aesthetic, that may be your regular clothing.
That's okay. Just grab a blonde, mullet wig - or be brave and cut your hair as such - and BOOM, you're Joe Dirt.
If you can't find a blonde wig, make it brunette and claim to be Theo Von.
Cut the sleeves off of a flannel and you're really cooking.
14. Nailed It
This is open for interpretation...
It could be a hilarious innuendo, it could be sexy, or it could even be made scary with some bloody make-up.
This one is basically a construction vest, Timberlands, maybe a hard hat, and carrying around a hammer all night.
13. Spice Rack
All you need is an old bra and the spices in your cabinet...
Tuddy said you're NOT allowed to borrow her bra.
We do recommend trying to bra on before you buy it - you'd be surprised how small a 36 C is.
Pro-Tip: The number indicated on the bra is your size AROUND - so big guys, feel free to go with a number 36 or higher, for comfort.
12. Magic 8-Ball
This costume is as simple as black with 2 cardboard circles with some sharpie.
Put the 8-ball on the front, and the back could be a any fortune you wish.
The back could even include 2 fortunes on each side - and you pick based on how much you care about the person asking for the fortune.
A second direction to take this is to add a magic wand, and throw flour at people... for ya know, another kind of 8-Ball.
11. Hi, My Name is ... x Identity Thief
For this costume, head to the Dollar Store and spend $1.25 on one of those "Hello, my name is..." sticker packs.
For bonus points, have other people write the names, too, so it looks like they're in different handwriting. It's the details, people...
Or - talk your buddy into being an Identity Thief, and steal ONE sticker from them. Add any name you want - such as "Joe" - and that's your whole costume. You're Joe, now.
10. Boondock Saints
For this all you need is a trench coat and an angry disposition.
We know, you've probably ALREADY done this costume, because you're a Dirtbag, and that is your prerogative.
S/o to a college-aged Kippy!
9. Filter x No Filter: Couples Costume
Get your partner and dress the same - the more disheveled you get throughout the night, the better the costume.
8. Epstein Files
For this one, get a white shirt, write a few words in sharpie, and "redact" a bunch of info with black bars.
Add choose whichever Epstein Dirtbags you wanna throw under the bus, by name.
7. Unc
Grow a beard, carry a beer, and be sure to give unsolicited advice.
You don't really even need to dress up for this one, it's basically your daily attire.
Points if you wear New Balance sneakers.
6. Dick in a Box
Shout out to Andy Samberg, man, this one never gets old...
Bonus points if you wear gold jewelry.
5. Politician
Wanna be Pete Hegseth? Copy the recent SNL Costume below.
Or be Mamdani and carry around a free bus pass...
Be Mitch McConnell and dress as a turtle...
Women love a man in a suit.
4. Whitehouse Ballroom
Wear all black and wrap yourself in a bunch of "caution - construction area" tape.
Bonus points if you wear a wrecking ball around your neck.
3. A Podcaster
Grab headphones and a microphone and you're off to the races!
2. Are You Garbage? Couples Costume
Are You Garbage? Ofc you are, or you wouldn't be here.
We're not gonna tell you how to do this one, but we can't wait to see your interpretations of The Boys...
1. Trash / Garbage
The most classic costume...
Cut some holes in the bottom of a trash bag and put your legs in. Wrap the drawstring around your neck.
We know, you're garbage.
What are you going as for Halloween this year? What are some of your favorite costumes or late?
Let us know in the comments below!
If you haven't seen it yet, Tuddy has a new Bomber Jacket here or below for sale! She's moving quick, so make sure you get one before they sell out.
Yall should give official garbage rankings with a leaderboard and all that kind of stuff.